Matters

"The same night he arose and took his two wives, his two female servants, and his eleven children, and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. He took them and sent them across the stream, and everything else that he had. And Jacob was left alone. And a man wrestled with him until the breaking of the day. When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he touched his hip socket, and Jacob's hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him. Then he said, "Let me go, for the day has broken." But Jacob said, "I will not let you go unless you bless me." And he said to him, "What is your name?" And he said, "Jacob." Then he said, "Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed." Then Jacob asked him, "Please tell me your name." But he said, "Why is it that you ask my name?" And there he blessed him. So Jacob called the name of the place Peniel, saying, "For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life has been delivered." The sun rose upon him as he passed Penuel, limping because of his hip. Therefore to this day, the people of Israel do not eat the sinew of the thigh that is on the hip socket, because he touched the socket of Jacob's hip on the sinew of the thigh."

Genesis 32:22-32 ESV

A.W. Tozer once said, "The reason why many are still troubled, still seeking, still making little forward progress is because they haven't yet come to the end of themselves. We're still trying to give orders, and interfering with God's work within us." 

Life is a struggle, but what most people don't realize is that our struggle is really with God! We want to be God in our own lives and there is no way we're going to win that struggle, but we try anyway. But the fact remains that you and I aren't God, and we never will be. We're humans, and the times when we try to be God are the times we end up most like the Enemy, who tried to be equal with God and we all know how that worked out. 

We accept our humanity intellectually, but not emotionally. We give mental assent to the idea, but when faced with our own limitations and those are many, we often react with irritation, anger, and resentment. We want to be taller (or shorter), smarter, stronger, more talented,  more beautiful, and more wealthy. It is always the "more" that we want so badly. We are never happy with what we have and we aren't thankful for it. We want to have it all and do it all, and become upset when it doesn't happen. Then, when we notice God gave others characteristics we don't have, we respond with envy, jealousy, and self-pity. 

C. S. Lewis observed, "The more we let God take us over, the more truly ourselves we become - because he made us. He invented all the different people that you and I were intended to be. It is when I turn to Christ, when I give up myself to His personality, that I first begin to have a real personality of my own."

I realized recently that it doesn't matter if I can't keep up with the neighbors. It doesn't matter if my bank account is smaller than I perceive others to be. What matters is that I fight the fights that matter. "This fear, these lies, this anxiety, this depression, this fight. It may be your current circumstance, but it isn't your identity." (Kimberly Mead) The things that happen to me on a daily basis don't define who I am and the things I have or don't have don't define me as a man. What does define me is my love for God and the way that I express that love to others in my community and that I come in contact with in my life. Always remember what defines you and pride in self isn't it.