"So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand." Romans 7:21
If there ever was a verse that was written for me, it's this one. How many times have I prayed for forgiveness, concluding with the promise that I won't lose my temper (or fill in the blank with the many other things that I do wrong) the next time around? I can clearly see the sin I deal with, I feel a deep sense of remorse, and I have an overriding conviction not to let it happen again.
I wish it really was that easy.
Because before too long, I lose my temper again and remember that heartfelt, sincere prayer and think, What is wrong with me? What is wrong with me that I can't seem to stop doing the things that I know to be wrong and the things I don't want to do and instead do the things I want to do?
What's wrong with me is that I am a very flawed sinner, and very fertile ground for the subtle hints, evil plans, and devious ploys of the enemy. What's wrong with me is my humanness I am bound to fall short of the glory of God and the standard of His Son, my Savior, whose example I try to emulate.
I try to remember the many moments when I have fallen before, asking God once again for His grace. And when I find myself correcting the same behavior in my kids, I think, How can I expect them to be perfect when I - someone supposedly older, wiser, more experienced, and I would think more spiritually connected with God - have such a difficult time?
Whoops....
Just to be clear, God's grace is not a ticket to get out of jail or a free pass to sin at will. But I must admit I find it liberating that the apostle Paul dealt with the very same thing in his life. That gives me hope.
As a former pastor of mine used to say, "What about you? Only God's grace will do."
If there ever was a verse that was written for me, it's this one. How many times have I prayed for forgiveness, concluding with the promise that I won't lose my temper (or fill in the blank with the many other things that I do wrong) the next time around? I can clearly see the sin I deal with, I feel a deep sense of remorse, and I have an overriding conviction not to let it happen again.
I wish it really was that easy.
Because before too long, I lose my temper again and remember that heartfelt, sincere prayer and think, What is wrong with me? What is wrong with me that I can't seem to stop doing the things that I know to be wrong and the things I don't want to do and instead do the things I want to do?
What's wrong with me is that I am a very flawed sinner, and very fertile ground for the subtle hints, evil plans, and devious ploys of the enemy. What's wrong with me is my humanness I am bound to fall short of the glory of God and the standard of His Son, my Savior, whose example I try to emulate.
I try to remember the many moments when I have fallen before, asking God once again for His grace. And when I find myself correcting the same behavior in my kids, I think, How can I expect them to be perfect when I - someone supposedly older, wiser, more experienced, and I would think more spiritually connected with God - have such a difficult time?
Whoops....
Just to be clear, God's grace is not a ticket to get out of jail or a free pass to sin at will. But I must admit I find it liberating that the apostle Paul dealt with the very same thing in his life. That gives me hope.
As a former pastor of mine used to say, "What about you? Only God's grace will do."
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