The Masks We Wear

"You keep in him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you."

Isaiah 26: 3 ESV

"Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad."

Proverbs 12:25 ESV

As men, we have to wear a bunch of different hats throughout our lives. Son, brother, friend, boyfriend, husband, and eventually a father. But this isn't about the hats we wear. This is about the masks that many of us wear to protect the different hats. As a man, we are all expected to be stronger than the things that face us. We are expected to straighten up our backs and push on through the things that challenge us every day. This comes from our past teaching and experiences that include a lack of understanding of the fact that we should never show weakness or emotion.

Often men feel embarrassed to talk about the way they feel, especially when it relates to feelings of sadness, disappointment, or despair. All of which, if not dealt with, can lead down the dark road of depression. And to make matters worse, some of our brothers and sisters in Christ can make us feel as if we have brought this upon ourselves through some sort of sin in our lives or we aren't seeking God enough because if we were we wouldn't feel this way. 

And as a result, more and more men carry feelings of despair, lostness, and live a joyless life on the inside and never become what they are intended to be. They keep their struggles private and never experience the inner peace and joy that God has for them. They might see a glimpse of their path but they can't enjoy the things each day brings. So many men, regardless of religious belief or background, don't realize that they are need of emotional healing.

This is what I meant by wearing a mask. This lack of acceptance, knowledge, and understanding put a mask on us that the outside world, sometimes even our families and our wives only see. This mask of covering up emotional pain will slow our walk through life down to a trod through the mud. It will stunt our growth and severely limit our potential as men in our service to Christ. And in some of the worst cases, it can even cause us to self destruct if left unresolved.

In Scripture, such pain resulted in some people to be generationally suffering. Depression is something, that if left untreated or unresolved, can be passed from father to son to grandson and so on. It is something the scriptures called "the brokenhearted." Elijah, a powerful man of God, was brokenhearted and wished for death. David was brokenhearted and wished for death. Saul was tormented, brokenhearted, and wished for death.

Bottom line: Depression is NOT new. It is not something that you should hide. And it most assuredly isn't something that you should be ashamed of either. I believe that the Bible gives detail of the depression of these men I listed above as an example of how they were human and still God chose to use them. He lifted them up out of the pit of misery that they found themselves in and used them for His glory. God will pull us through the same way. Scripture tells me that one way to begin our journey to healing is to pray and focus on God. He is the one that can and will keep your mind at peace if you can continuously keep your focus on Him. Meditate on His word even when you don't feel like it. Constantly praise God for your progress even if it is only a small step. That is what it is like to walk by faith. God will keep His promises to you just like He did Elijah, David, and Saul.