Discipline

"Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death."

Proverbs 19:18 ESV 

When I was still coaching youth sports, occasionally I would catch myself getting angry at a kid. It was the kid that seemed to know exactly which of my buttons to push to get me on the verge of taking him out. It wasn't until I got away from the ball field and away from the little demon, excuse me, kid that I realized something pretty important. I couldn't lay 100% of the blame at his feet. 

As sure as the sun rises, this young man would get older and as he grows up he will have to accept more of the responsibility for his actions and behavior but right then, in that moment, it simply wasn't all his fault. I would say on a scale of 1-100, he was only about 25% to blame for his behavior on the ball field. The blame should really fall back on his mom and his dad. But when I talk to them they simply blame it on his "attitude," but when I step back from them and the situation I realized that his parents really are guilty of a form of neglect. Yeah, I said it. Child neglect is what was really going on. His parents had neglected to show him real, biblical love. Because real love, real biblical love loves too much to withhold discipline from a child. 

Real love has boundaries and relies on them. Real love cares enough to actually parent instead of just being a walking ATM and handing out cash for video games, toys, and food whenever they whine loud enough. To be honest with you, this isn't an easy thing for me to say because I have to grieve over whether I actually taught that young man anything about discipline and dedication in the short time I was around him. But I really get upset when I think about this young man's future. How will he treat his wife? How will he function in society? What kind of man will he become? Most of all, I worry about his mom and dad. Yes, the ones that are raising this young man, because in a few short years, unless major changes are made, they will reap every single seed that has been sown. 

It has also made me look at my own parenting. Do I want to be just good enough to get by, hoping they turn out alright? Or do I want to be the kind of father that, when my kids are standing over my grave, they can hold their heads high and say my dad was a man of God and he did his best to show me every single day. A little convicting isn't it?