It feels like it’s been a long week already, and I’m tired. Work takes its toll, much less the work of relationships. I know. Love is a gift; so is being a good spouse. But they do take hard work, right?
Sometimes, even these good things can wear me out. So it’s been a long week. A long month, maybe; and depending on how you look at it, a long few years. I’m tired. I get to the end of a day like this, and it can feel like my loftiest goal is quiet Netflix and my favorite beverage. Is anyone with me here?
This is for tired guys, from a tired man. It’s for guys who haven’t got it all figured out yet, from a guy who often doesn’t feel like he has a clue. It’s for husbands trying hard to get it right, sometimes fighting to make their marriage a place of joy, sometimes feeling like throwing in the towel, and sometimes, truth be told, not really bringing their A game.
This one is for the flawed guys, who bring a load of inadequacy to the table, more failings than they care to admit, less ability to control the things around them than they’d like.
This is for the husbands and fathers who sometimes get scared. I'm a 6'5 325lb man and I get scared too. In fact, here’s what I’d like to say: just because you find yourself writing a blog, doesn’t necessarily mean that you are a professional. This is why.
Tired men and flawed men, semi-pro men and professional men, D-league men and “I don’t even know what the rules are” men: guess what? We’re a mess. Every single one of us. We get impatient and irritable (a lot!) There are limits to our energy, our resources, and our abilities. But we are called to be men, nonetheless. As a mess, married to a mess, parenting beautiful little messes. If you’re not paying attention, this could be taken as discouraging.
But it doesn't have to be. You need to know that it’s OK to be tired, and it’s OK to not have all the answers. It’s OK to not be the toughest, the smartest, the best at handling money, a master at tackling tough conversations, or the world’s number one lover. I’m saying this to myself even as I am writing this.
Sometimes, each one of us need validation that reminds us how draining life and responsibility can sometimes be. I’ve had really great men tell me something like this, “I’m tired, man. I work. I go to my kid’s practices. I try to spend time with my wife and show her I love her. I try to help out around the house. I’m working on being a good person and getting better, but I’m tired.” And I’ll look at that man and say, “Sounds like you’ve got good reason for it, there, my brother.”
What about you? You need to hear this too: Good work. You’re allowed to make mistakes. But keep going. Being a man is really hard work, not for the faint of heart. It takes courage, and sometimes double amounts of it, especially when you’re trying to make changes. But here you are. You’re reading. You’re looking for answers. You’re growing. Now how about taking one more step today by participating in a bit of dialogue with other tired men? Have you got it in you?
Get out a piece of paper and write on the page a word of encouragement to your spouse or your kids. You know how big a difference that can make. Or share a small slice of your tired story with other like minded fellas out there. You remember how much it can help simply to know you’re not the only one who feels the way you do. Let’s take a minute to cheer one another on to finish our races better than we started. And then, after that, go take a nap. You probably need it as much as I do!
Sometimes, even these good things can wear me out. So it’s been a long week. A long month, maybe; and depending on how you look at it, a long few years. I’m tired. I get to the end of a day like this, and it can feel like my loftiest goal is quiet Netflix and my favorite beverage. Is anyone with me here?
This is for tired guys, from a tired man. It’s for guys who haven’t got it all figured out yet, from a guy who often doesn’t feel like he has a clue. It’s for husbands trying hard to get it right, sometimes fighting to make their marriage a place of joy, sometimes feeling like throwing in the towel, and sometimes, truth be told, not really bringing their A game.
This one is for the flawed guys, who bring a load of inadequacy to the table, more failings than they care to admit, less ability to control the things around them than they’d like.
This is for the husbands and fathers who sometimes get scared. I'm a 6'5 325lb man and I get scared too. In fact, here’s what I’d like to say: just because you find yourself writing a blog, doesn’t necessarily mean that you are a professional. This is why.
Tired men and flawed men, semi-pro men and professional men, D-league men and “I don’t even know what the rules are” men: guess what? We’re a mess. Every single one of us. We get impatient and irritable (a lot!) There are limits to our energy, our resources, and our abilities. But we are called to be men, nonetheless. As a mess, married to a mess, parenting beautiful little messes. If you’re not paying attention, this could be taken as discouraging.
But it doesn't have to be. You need to know that it’s OK to be tired, and it’s OK to not have all the answers. It’s OK to not be the toughest, the smartest, the best at handling money, a master at tackling tough conversations, or the world’s number one lover. I’m saying this to myself even as I am writing this.
Sometimes, each one of us need validation that reminds us how draining life and responsibility can sometimes be. I’ve had really great men tell me something like this, “I’m tired, man. I work. I go to my kid’s practices. I try to spend time with my wife and show her I love her. I try to help out around the house. I’m working on being a good person and getting better, but I’m tired.” And I’ll look at that man and say, “Sounds like you’ve got good reason for it, there, my brother.”
What about you? You need to hear this too: Good work. You’re allowed to make mistakes. But keep going. Being a man is really hard work, not for the faint of heart. It takes courage, and sometimes double amounts of it, especially when you’re trying to make changes. But here you are. You’re reading. You’re looking for answers. You’re growing. Now how about taking one more step today by participating in a bit of dialogue with other tired men? Have you got it in you?
Get out a piece of paper and write on the page a word of encouragement to your spouse or your kids. You know how big a difference that can make. Or share a small slice of your tired story with other like minded fellas out there. You remember how much it can help simply to know you’re not the only one who feels the way you do. Let’s take a minute to cheer one another on to finish our races better than we started. And then, after that, go take a nap. You probably need it as much as I do!
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