Everything in my life is so confusing. My fears continue to get the best of me and here I sit, typing, worried about tomorrow. Worried about things that are out of my control. The weight that I carry is so heavy that I feel as if I have a two ton boulder on each shoulder and another squarely in the middle of my back. The thing is that the truth that I know remains the same even when I am not sure what to do, what to say, or what to pray. The truth that God is real and He is always here.
What I know is that God is real and no matter how I feel in any given moment He never lets me go, even by all rights He should. What I know is there will never be a day that He isn't further than a prayer away. Through it all I have to hold onto what I know, that God is in charge and I am not.
I could stand in my yard, shaking my fist at God and demanding that He give me the answers that "i think" I have to have but in spite of all my demands and questions, I still give Him my life, even when it doesn't turn out exactly like I think it should, it doesn't change the fact that all God's ways are good, all His actions have purpose, whether we like it or not.
What I know is that God is real and no matter how I feel in any given moment He never lets me go, even though by all rights He should. What I know is there will never be a day that He isn't further than a prayer away. Through it all I have to hold onto what I know, that God is in charge and I am not.
The love of God is never failing. His kind of hope tells us to carry on. Carry on when you get cancer. Carry on when your parent dies. Carry on when your spouse dies. Carry on when your kids are straying from the path. Carry on when your child dies. Carry on for one simple reason: God is real no matter how we feel and that is the most comforting thing I know.
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