I don't know everything. (A fact that my wife reminds me of daily!) I wish that I did, but I can't get away with pretending to know everything. Too many people have made it painfully clear that I don't. But over the years, I have become more and more comfortable admitting that and listening to others.
Some people like to pretend to know more than they do. When I was in college I was told in no uncertain terms that "If after three weeks you don't know who the class jerk is, it's probably you." Hopefully I wasn't that person - the one who thinks he has all the answers and can't be vulnerable enough to admit needing the counsel of others. That attitude may come from a huge ego, but it's more often a defense mechanism masking insecurity and fear of being exposed as ignorant. When we feel like we have to know everything about everything - or at least make other people think that we do - we've got some serious self-esteem issues.
As I have grown older and hopefully wiser - I have found that "I don't know" is almost always a good answer. It's actually a sign of strength, not weakness. We have to be secure enough in ourselves the say that. When we can, it becomes a great opportunity to learn. When we find people who know more than us about a certain topic - and they are EVERYWHERE - it's a great idea to take them to lunch, ask lots of questions, and let them do all the talking. My father has been described to me as a silent and almost brooding person - while I would totally disagree with that - I know why they say that. My dad is quiet because he is listening. I believe that he feels people have a lot to offer from their own experiences, and he is secure enough in himself and his knowledge to learn from them.
This is the flip side of mentoring. A mentor reaches out to help someone along the path of life. Being a mentor is a very important role in the life of a Christian. We are called to "make disciples" and in turn mentor those younger in the faith than us. We should all have someone to mentor us in our lives, no matter what our age. We all need someone wiser and more knowledgeable in our life. All it takes is putting aside the pride and ego and be open to be mentored and discipled.
A need to be "the expert" about a subject rarely impresses others and can actually hinder our growth. We need to always be in the process of learning. Seek the wise counsel of others that have walked further down the road than us. Feel free to say, "I don't know - please teach me!" And allow those wiser people to fuel you as you go down your path. But also remember to pass the wisdom on!
"If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame." Proverbs 18:13 ESV
Some people like to pretend to know more than they do. When I was in college I was told in no uncertain terms that "If after three weeks you don't know who the class jerk is, it's probably you." Hopefully I wasn't that person - the one who thinks he has all the answers and can't be vulnerable enough to admit needing the counsel of others. That attitude may come from a huge ego, but it's more often a defense mechanism masking insecurity and fear of being exposed as ignorant. When we feel like we have to know everything about everything - or at least make other people think that we do - we've got some serious self-esteem issues.
As I have grown older and hopefully wiser - I have found that "I don't know" is almost always a good answer. It's actually a sign of strength, not weakness. We have to be secure enough in ourselves the say that. When we can, it becomes a great opportunity to learn. When we find people who know more than us about a certain topic - and they are EVERYWHERE - it's a great idea to take them to lunch, ask lots of questions, and let them do all the talking. My father has been described to me as a silent and almost brooding person - while I would totally disagree with that - I know why they say that. My dad is quiet because he is listening. I believe that he feels people have a lot to offer from their own experiences, and he is secure enough in himself and his knowledge to learn from them.
This is the flip side of mentoring. A mentor reaches out to help someone along the path of life. Being a mentor is a very important role in the life of a Christian. We are called to "make disciples" and in turn mentor those younger in the faith than us. We should all have someone to mentor us in our lives, no matter what our age. We all need someone wiser and more knowledgeable in our life. All it takes is putting aside the pride and ego and be open to be mentored and discipled.
A need to be "the expert" about a subject rarely impresses others and can actually hinder our growth. We need to always be in the process of learning. Seek the wise counsel of others that have walked further down the road than us. Feel free to say, "I don't know - please teach me!" And allow those wiser people to fuel you as you go down your path. But also remember to pass the wisdom on!
"If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame." Proverbs 18:13 ESV
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