"And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you." Matthew 6:5-6 ESV
The last few weeks I have had some troubling thoughts come across my mind. And I feel like the above scripture has been placed in front of me more than a few times to not be on purpose.
As many that know me, know that I am at heart a singer. That when I sing I feel my closest to God. When I am singing praises to His name and singing with my fellow members of God's family at church I feel like I am totally connected. Well, to tell the truth, for a few months I felt a serious disconnect in my worship. I have felt cut off from God in my study of His Word, which in truth has been seriously lacking due to what can only be described as pure laziness, sloth, and sin in my life. I have felt that my prayers are "bouncing" off the ceiling.
I have been working totally on my ability and not God's ability. Notice I said "my" and not "God's" ability.
Most of the things that separate me from God are of my own making and I accept full responsibility for the things I have done and said in the past. I make no secret that I am the worst of sinners and that I know I don't deserve any of the free grace that is offered to me. I am the worst of hypocrites.
What is a hypocrite you might ask? Well Websters defines such a person as one who indulges in hypocrisy. A pretender, dissembler, deceiver, liar, pietist, sanctimonious person. Basically a phony, fraud, and a sham.
Well, I guess that describes me through and through. Because at my core I am a sorry, sorry individual. We all are, we are all inherently fallen at our core. The only way we can be truly redeemed is through the repentance that can only be granted by Jesus Christ.
Know that I am working through all this and I covet the prayers of the faithful. God is showing me where I lack and what work is yet to be done to get me where I need to be. I would rather not sing, teach, or live a life that is disapproving in God's sight.
I don't want to be a hypocrite.Do you?
The last few weeks I have had some troubling thoughts come across my mind. And I feel like the above scripture has been placed in front of me more than a few times to not be on purpose.
As many that know me, know that I am at heart a singer. That when I sing I feel my closest to God. When I am singing praises to His name and singing with my fellow members of God's family at church I feel like I am totally connected. Well, to tell the truth, for a few months I felt a serious disconnect in my worship. I have felt cut off from God in my study of His Word, which in truth has been seriously lacking due to what can only be described as pure laziness, sloth, and sin in my life. I have felt that my prayers are "bouncing" off the ceiling.
I have been working totally on my ability and not God's ability. Notice I said "my" and not "God's" ability.
Most of the things that separate me from God are of my own making and I accept full responsibility for the things I have done and said in the past. I make no secret that I am the worst of sinners and that I know I don't deserve any of the free grace that is offered to me. I am the worst of hypocrites.
What is a hypocrite you might ask? Well Websters defines such a person as one who indulges in hypocrisy. A pretender, dissembler, deceiver, liar, pietist, sanctimonious person. Basically a phony, fraud, and a sham.
Well, I guess that describes me through and through. Because at my core I am a sorry, sorry individual. We all are, we are all inherently fallen at our core. The only way we can be truly redeemed is through the repentance that can only be granted by Jesus Christ.
Know that I am working through all this and I covet the prayers of the faithful. God is showing me where I lack and what work is yet to be done to get me where I need to be. I would rather not sing, teach, or live a life that is disapproving in God's sight.
I don't want to be a hypocrite.Do you?
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