The Power of Forgiveness

I once read a quote that says, "Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."  That quote is why I chose this topic of forgiveness. It is something that I have struggled with and wrestled over and over again but am gaining a greater understanding with every passing day. 

Forgiveness is a concept often discussed yet rarely fully understood. In its essence, forgiveness is the act of letting go of resentment, anger, or bitterness towards someone who has harmed you. While it may seem like a simple idea, the process of forgiving is a deep and transformative experience that can lead to profound personal growth and healing. 

First, though we need to have an understanding of what forgiveness is and is not. Forgiveness does not mean that you forget. We can remember without holding onto the pain. It is not about excusing the harm done or condoning the harmful behavior. Forgiveness doesn't necessarily involve reconciliation either, We can absolutely forgive someone without allowing them back into our lives. 

At its core, forgiveness is a GIFT we give OURSELVES. It is about liberating our hearts and minds from the chains and binding made from bitterness and allowing ourselves to live in the present moment. The here and now. 

The benefits from experiencing the forgiveness that I am speaking of far outweigh the weight carried when we don't forgive. Numerous studies have shown that forgiving can have a significant impact on our physical health. It has been shown that it will reduce your risk of heart disease, improve your sleep, and lower your blood pressure, Not to mention the impact that it has on our mental health. Forgiving someone the wrong they committed against you will decrease symptoms of depression, anxiety, and chronic stress. And along with the positive impacts on our mental health, forgiveness improves our relationship with others. It strengthens our connection and seeks better forms of communication along with a heightened sense of empathy. 

Forgiveness doesn't happen overnight. It is a journey, not a destination. It takes time and every single one of our paths is unique. There are four guide posts that are similar on each of our paths - Acknowledgment, Empathy, Release, and Commitment. 

When we meet the sign of acknowledgment we recognize the pain and accept that our feelings are real and important. The sign of empathy gives us the opportunity to see and understand the other person's perspective or circumstances. The sign of release gives us a direction towards letting go of a desire for revenge or retribution. And lastly, the sign of commitment helps us make a conscious decision to forgive and remember this commitment when those old feelings start to stir in our hearts and minds. 

Now we get to the good part - The Challenge. While forgiveness is absolutely transformative, it Is not always easy. Obstacles sometimes will pop up in our path. Stumbling blocks like the fear of being vulnerable or of getting hurt again. The pressures of society or our own culture often tell us, albiet  blindly, to hold onto grudges. And there are some that will say that forgiveness is a sign of weakness. But I would urge you to remember that forgiveness is a sign of great strength. It takes absolute courage to let go and heal. 

Forgiveness is a deeply personal choice, and there is no right or wrong way to approach it. Whether you choose to forgive quickly or it takes you years, the journey is yours alone and it is valid. The great Desmond Tutu once said, "Forgiveness says you are given another chance to make a new beginning."

Let us embrace the power of forgiveness, not just for those who've wronged you, but most importantly for ourselves.