Don't Let Go Of The Rope

Tonight is one of those nights where I can't seem to shut it off. 

Thoughts and concerns of the day seem to run around my mind like Dale Earnhardt did at Talladega Super Speedway. It won't slow down. So as I often do when I can't sleep, I am here in my office, Bible open, pen and paper handy, worship music playing in the background, and trying to put my thoughts together all while communing with the Holy Spirit about literally everything and anything. But as I sit and listen, one common theme keeps popping into my mind. One word is on my tongue: 

HOPE.

You might think, what a word to have rattling around your big head Squatch. Well, it's a special word to me. It was the word I was given to write my first exegesis paper on when I was in college and over the years I believe it was a sign from the Father that my life had purpose and meaning. He DOESN'T make mistakes. 

I think it is important that I explain the background of this word. The Hebrew word for hope is Tikvah (teek-vah) and Strong's defines it as a cord, expectation, and hope. As American's, we typically think of hope as a feeling that something desirable is likely to happen. But I love the Hebrew in this case and it first appears in Scripture in Joshua 2:17-18,21, the account of the two Israelite spies and the woman Rahab of Jericho:

'The men said to her, “We will be guiltless with respect to this oath of yours that you have made us swear. Behold, when we come into the land, you shall tie this scarlet cord in the window through which you let us down, and you shall gather into your house your father and mother, your brothers, and all your father’s household."

'And she said, “According to your words, so be it.” Then she sent them away, and they departed. And she tied the scarlet cord in the window." Joshua 2:21 ESV

The scarlet cord was Rahab's hope to be saved during the battle of Jericho. It was the only guarantee that her family would be spared and though it had been tied in the window, she still had to wait for the realization of the promise. Being patient and waiting is quite possibly the hardest thing in the world for me to do. It was that way for many of the heroes and heroines in the Bible. But it is that way for all of us isn't it? 

I feel like I am the most impatient person I know. It is something that I struggle with daily, some days I win and some days it wins. It is not one of my more endearing character traits but it is one that God is working hard to redeem in me. My recent health issues have brought this to the forefront. I can't move exactly like I am used to moving and I am having to be more deliberate in the things I attempt. It is easy for me to lose all hope and throw my hands in the air but it is in those times, I have to remember the "rope" in my life that guarantees me that I will be saved, regardless of the outcome. I have to cling to the promises that God shows me in His Word, a Word that is tangible and secure. 

While my life isn't as simple as black and white, and I can't control nearly as much of it as I let on, I have learned that hope lives in the gray, border areas sometimes. It is like being in a deer blind early in the morning right before the sun comes up. You can't quite make out what is in front of you but the light is just strong enough to give you an outline of a buck. And like the sunlight creeping through the trees, the sharpness of the colors will all come into focus in its given, appropriate time. 

My journey through life hasn't always made sense. I am a forty-two-year-old father of six, thrice-married (once divorced and once widowed), Sasquatch-sized man. I work hard. I provide for my family as best as I can and I try and I fail. I still struggle with certain sins in my life. I miss my parents and those that I have lost in my life. My travels have taken me all over the country. I have friends all over the world. I struggle with depression and anxiety and I am determined to help other men realize that admitting this fact doesn't make them weak or less than. And in all this, I still find myself feeling like the world is unfair and at times, just dang wrong. I can't understand why a woman that loves her family as much as my wife does can't have her own children but others that could carelessly keep popping out babies like they are a human Pez dispenser. I can't wrap my mind around the senseless violence in our state, our country, and the world. I can't begin to fathom how depraved some people are when it comes to the lives of others. People constantly arguing about being vaxxed or unvaxxed. Wearing masks or not wearing masks. Black versus white. Republican versus Democrat. My heart and my mind are overloaded with these things.

But it is when I learn to lean into the faith, trust, and hope of Jesus and what He teaches us that I feel the relief that comes from the rope. The rope of faith that Christ throws back to all of His brothers and sisters. What appears to be unnatural and unfair are oftentimes the places where we will find the strongest sections of this rope. God promised us that He would never leave us or forsake us. We may feel like we are at the end of the rope, empty and dry spiritually but those are the times when we need to grip the rope tight and call out to God. We have to dig in, root ourselves in His Word, choose to see with His eyes and stand on the promises of God. He is the one that is in total control. He is the only one that can see the outcome of what we are dealing with or going through. 

Psalm 27:14 says, "Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!"

I have found these words to be like a salve on a sore wound the past few weeks. I have times when I feel distant or abandoned, these words remind me that God is in control and that He has the other end of the rope and in His perfect time, He will pull me up to a firmer location. I just have to keep holding onto the rope - that perfectly woven cord running from one end of the Bible to the other. It is a cord that tied itself to me the moment I gave my life over to Christ. I just have to remember all the things I am facing, Christ faced them first and He defeated them all.

No matter the difficulties I face, Christ defines who I am. He is my adjudicator, my brother, my therapist, my identity, and most importantly, He is where I find my HOPE. He is better than anything on this side of heaven. I am healed because He healed me. I am saved because He saved me. I am defended because He defends me. I am restored because He restores me. I am transformed because He transformed me. And I have a HOPE because He gives me HOPE. Like Rahab in Joshua, I don't deserve to be spared or have hope. I am not worthy of this alone. It is only in Christ that this HOPE is accomplished and found.