Where Have All The Good Men Gone?

“"For it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted to them his property. To one he gave five talents, to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away. He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he made five talents more. So also he who had the two talents made two talents more. But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master's money. Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, 'Master, you delivered to me five talents; here, I have made five talents more.' His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.' And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, 'Master, you delivered to me two talents; here, I have made two talents more.' His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.' He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, 'Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here, you have what is yours.' But his master answered him, 'You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed? Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'” Matthew ‭25:14-30‬ ‭ESV‬‬

I have found in my life that envy can often reveal itself in very subtle forms. Envy, like every other sin, is often the starting place leading in down a path far away from where God intended. Because sin usually starts off with a small action, you tend to not even notice it very much. And isn't envy a long way from a really serious sin like murder or stealing?

I have spent a lot of time in my adult years around many different men and been to many men's conferences and read countless men's ministry related books but one thing that I here from most men is that they wish the could have a place in ministry where it impact the men around them. But the truth is, they actually do have that place, they just are too blind, apathetic, or lazy to act on it. 

The truth is that a man will look at what he wishes for instead of looking at what he actually has right there in front of him. And this is the enemy's way of keeping him on the sidelines and only entertaining thoughts of actually entering the game. 

Men today are too distracted and too busy. We think that providing financially is all that is required of us to be successful. We believe that if we are giving our wives a new mini van, our kids have the clothes and toys they want, and we can cruise the lake or the golf course on Saturday that we are winning in life. But that is so far from the reality that is men in 2017.

We are drowning in a pool of apathy and ignorance as it relates to our actual impact on the world around us. I have seen men walking around the church that possess a warrior's heart deep inside their chests but lack the drive or knowledge to use what God has given them. When challenged they either run or get only slightly engaged as long as it doesn't interfere with their schedules. 

We, and I say we because I am speaking to myself too, have allowed our kids sports and extra curricular schedules interfere at every level of our lives. We believe the lie that is purported from our enemy that if they miss that practice or if they don't make that travel team then they won't be able to play later on in high school or might miss a scholarship opportunity. Honestly, when is the last time you saw a baseball scout at a little league game watching a bunch of 9-10 year old kids play? We have allowed the "world" to dictate to us that other things are simply more important. Proverbs 6:20-22 tells us, “My son, keep your father's commandment, and forsake not your mother's teaching. Bind them on your heart always; tie them around your neck. When you walk, they will lead you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk with you.” Solomon is showing us the wisdom of listening to our parents, but he is also speaking about listening to the truth that God gives us throughout scripture. The apostle Paul also tells me that the enemy is the "Father of lies." So why do the men in today's church listen to him? 

Let me share some stats with you in case you doubt what I am saying:

• The typical U.S. Congregation draws an adult crowd that’s 61% female, 39% male. This gender gap shows up in all age categories. 
• On any given Sunday there are 13 million more adult women than men in America’s churches. 
• This Sunday almost 25 percent of married, churchgoing women will worship without their husbands. 
• Midweek activities often draw 70 to 80 percent female participants. 
• The majority of church employees are women (except for ordained clergy, who are overwhelmingly male). 
• Over 70 percent of the boys who are being raised in church will abandon it during their teens and twenties. Many of these boys will never return.
• More than 90 percent of American men believe in God, and five out of six call themselves Christians. But only one out of six attend church on a given Sunday. The average man accepts the reality of Jesus Christ, but fails to see any value in going to church. 
• Churches overseas report gender gaps of up to 9 women for every adult man in attendance. 
• Christian universities are becoming convents. The typical Christian college in the U.S. enrolls almost 2 women for every 1 man.
• Fewer than 10% of U.S. churches are able to establish or maintain a vibrant men’s ministry. 
• One of the worst days for male church attendance: Father's Day! 

As a business man, I have heard it said more than once, "Numbers don't lie." Although men haven't completely abandoned the church, manly men have all but disappeared from the church. These tough, earthy, hardworking guys rarely come to worship. High achievers, alpha males, risk takers, and visionaries are also in short supply in most of today's churches. Fun-lovers and adventurers are also underrepresented. These rough-and-tumble men don’t fit in the mold of the quiet, introspective man that many in past would have populate most churches. The truth is, most men in the pews grew up going to church. Many of these "lifers" come not because they desire to be transformed by Christ but because they enjoy participating in comforting rituals that have changed little since their childhood. They believe that because they said a prayer at a VBS service or a church camp when they were 12 that they just have to show up and they are OK. But there are also millions of men who attend services under duress, being nagged and dragged to worship by their mother, wife, or girlfriend. Today’s churchgoing man is humble, tidy, dutiful, and above all, nice. And I find that a stark contrast to the men of the Bible! Think of Moses and Elijah, David and Daniel, Peter and Paul. They were lions, not lambs, warriors not cowards, they were take-charge men who risked everything in service to God. They fought valiantly for God and spilled blood when required. They spoke their minds and stepped on the toes of the so called religious people from time to time. They were all true leaders in every sense of the word and tough guys who were feared and respected by all in their community. All of these men had two things in common: they had an intense commitment to God, and they weren’t what you’d call saintly.

Sadly, such men seldom go to church today. And furthermore, of the men who do attend church, most decline to invest themselves in the Christian life as their wives and mothers do. The majority of men attend services and nothing more. Look around at the men that show up for a men's event or help on Sunday, it is the same guys every single week.  The kind of man I am talking about is in church most Sundays, but he’s generally not very excited about it. “I go mainly for my kids and my wife,” he says. “Church is okay, but it really doesn’t excite me like it does her.” He goes to check a box rather than participate in active worship.Who are we reaching by speaking to the same guys week in and week out?

As you read the numbers relating to the participation of men, don’t freak out. This low level of participation may be part of the church’s natural cycle. There have been times when the church tends to get out of balance and it lost its masculine spirit. But God is faithful and He has raised a lion that brought the church back to a place of impact and importance in the lives of men. Men like Martin Luther, John Wesley, Charles Finney, or Billy Sunday drug the church kicking and screaming back into balance. Then the men returned. The great revivals of the past three centuries always transformed large numbers of men.

God has balanced His church many times before. He will do so again. Our job is to confront the current gender gap for what it is: a strategy of the evil one to weaken the church as a whole. We need to understand what causes these gaps and have the courage to remove the barriers that discourage and demoralize men. God will call men back to Himself. But will the church be ready?

Imagine for a moment what would church be like if the majority of the worshipers were men? Not just men taking up pew space, but strong men who were truly alive in Christ. Men who were there not just to please their wives, to fulfill religious tradition, or to go on a power trip, but men who were there to rock their world. Can you even imagine what that would feel like? Imagine what such a church could accomplish for the kingdom of God!

Maybe you think that this is an impossibility? That the men of 2017 are unreachable as a whole? Well my friend, just read the book of Acts. The church was like I just described once and it can be again. Revival can happen in my church. It can happen in your church. All you have to do is step out in faith and pray until God moves.