Have you ever experienced angry thoughts directed towards God, even if for only a second?
If like me, you probably said yes and I hope that you realize that you aren't alone. You may feel alone right now and I know it too because I have often felt the same way and really nothing could be further from the truth. You feel alone not because you are alone but because of the nasty, unwritten rule that we are not supposed to talk about it or feel this way. It is too "sinful" a thing to mention in polite company. That if we actually said aloud something might happen to us or that we might not really be a Christian. Well personally I think that is a terrible way to live.
I have decided that not telling God what is actually on my heart feels like I am talking about Him behind my back, as if He didn't already know I was upset to begin with. Basically, what I am saying is that I am a Christian that is very pissed off at God from time to time. Besides, God already knows it and Psalm 44:21 confirms it for me saying, “would not God discover this? For he knows the secrets of the heart.”(Psalms 44:21 ESV). None of us can hide anything from God. He knows all, sees all, and hears all, even the secrets in our hearts that no one else knows.
Go back to Job. "Therefore I will not restrain my mouth; I will speak in the anguish of my spirit;I will complain in the bitterness of my soul."(Job 7:11 ESV) He told God exactly how angry he was and did God run and hide from him? God didn't call Job a traitor or a sinner. God did exactly what we expect Him to do, He showed up! When I find myself yelling at God, really that is all I want. I want Him to show up. Most people who are angry at God just want God to come back home and fix what ever it is that made us angry in the first place. Although what God might explain to us might fail to satisfy us but the fact remains that God will reward our honesty with His presence.
The truth is that God doesn't intimidate us. God authenticates. What God authenticates is our heart struggling to be in a relationship with Him even when we feel like He has left us. God wants us to talk to Him. I have found my most meaningful conversations with the Lord started with my yelling at Him because I didn't like the way something turned out and He always turns it around to show me where I missed the turn or made a misstep. He never does it in an angry, vengeful way but in a loving way like a father that is just trying to teach His child how to really live.
If like me, you probably said yes and I hope that you realize that you aren't alone. You may feel alone right now and I know it too because I have often felt the same way and really nothing could be further from the truth. You feel alone not because you are alone but because of the nasty, unwritten rule that we are not supposed to talk about it or feel this way. It is too "sinful" a thing to mention in polite company. That if we actually said aloud something might happen to us or that we might not really be a Christian. Well personally I think that is a terrible way to live.
I have decided that not telling God what is actually on my heart feels like I am talking about Him behind my back, as if He didn't already know I was upset to begin with. Basically, what I am saying is that I am a Christian that is very pissed off at God from time to time. Besides, God already knows it and Psalm 44:21 confirms it for me saying, “would not God discover this? For he knows the secrets of the heart.”(Psalms 44:21 ESV). None of us can hide anything from God. He knows all, sees all, and hears all, even the secrets in our hearts that no one else knows.
Go back to Job. "Therefore I will not restrain my mouth; I will speak in the anguish of my spirit;I will complain in the bitterness of my soul."(Job 7:11 ESV) He told God exactly how angry he was and did God run and hide from him? God didn't call Job a traitor or a sinner. God did exactly what we expect Him to do, He showed up! When I find myself yelling at God, really that is all I want. I want Him to show up. Most people who are angry at God just want God to come back home and fix what ever it is that made us angry in the first place. Although what God might explain to us might fail to satisfy us but the fact remains that God will reward our honesty with His presence.
The truth is that God doesn't intimidate us. God authenticates. What God authenticates is our heart struggling to be in a relationship with Him even when we feel like He has left us. God wants us to talk to Him. I have found my most meaningful conversations with the Lord started with my yelling at Him because I didn't like the way something turned out and He always turns it around to show me where I missed the turn or made a misstep. He never does it in an angry, vengeful way but in a loving way like a father that is just trying to teach His child how to really live.
“Then Job answered the Lord and said: “I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted. ‘Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?’ Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. ‘Hear, and I will speak; I will question you, and you make it known to me.’ I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you; therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes.” After the Lord had spoken these words to Job, the Lord said to Eliphaz the Temanite: “My anger burns against you and against your two friends, for you have not spoken of me what is right, as my servant Job has. Now therefore take seven bulls and seven rams and go to my servant Job and offer up a burnt offering for yourselves. And my servant Job shall pray for you, for I will accept his prayer not to deal with you according to your folly. For you have not spoken of me what is right, as my servant Job has.””
Job 42:1-8 ESV
Comments
Post a Comment